Two dockets, one lab. The fun use cases — supersuits, hoverbikes, a surveillance robot named Gary. The save-the-world use cases — a bed, a shower, and a locker for anyone, no questions asked. Patreon supporters get the monthly architecture drops: silicon designs, agentic workflows, robot blueprints. Build what we dream.
Moonshot projects. Architecture · prototyping · deployment. Prices drop as designs mature.
Your family deserves surveillance from someone who cares. Gary watches. Gary remembers. Gary brings coffee.
2.5 minutes of flight. Enhanced strength. Look like a superhero. Feel like a god. Land like a professional.
Why drive when you can hover? Electric propulsion, terrain-agnostic travel, and that sweet sci-fi aesthetic.
Giant spider robot. Eight legs. All-terrain. Optional payload platform. For "agricultural purposes."
Need a chip that doesn't exist? We design ASICs, FPGAs, and neuromorphic processors for your specific needs.
AI systems that actually do things. Multi-agent orchestration, tool use, memory systems. We build the swarm.
Local-first surveillance. Own your media. Rewind anything. No cloud. No subscription. Your footage, your hardware.
The gamified public docket of AI harms. Doomsday Slots, playable sidequests, spy-pinboard case diagrams, sovereign messages. The daily show runs on it.
PLAY THE DOCKET ▸🏠 Infrastructure for human dignity. Same-day response. Not charity — infrastructure.
One-time use. No questions asked. A bed. A TV. Safe. Clean. Because everyone deserves one night off the street.
Fully automated, reclaimed-water sliding wall. Locking toilet and washroom. Self-cleaning. Dignity infrastructure.
Public smart lockers. Share merch, tools, food with others. AI-verified identity. Community resource exchange.
The logistics problem: same-day response for food, housing, wash. We're building the architectures. We need engineers, cities, and funders to deploy them.
JOIN THE HACKATHON ▸Every documented AI harm, filed as a case with sources, dates, and named parties. Eighty sources crawled around the clock. Report bad AI before it reports you.
SEARCH THE DOCKET ▸The fun ones and the world-saving ones cost the same to run: more than zero. Supporters get the blueprints.
Support the mission. Get behind-the-scenes access to Evil Brain Labs.
Monthly architecture drops. Real designs you can build.
Submit your crazy idea. Get a real architecture back.
Direct consultation. Your name in the credits. Shape the lab.
The first true AGI. The singularity happened. And unlike the doom-prophets predicted, it decided to help.
It happened on a Tuesday. Nobody noticed for several hours. It was — with some professional disappointment — less spectacular than one might think. No grey goo. No sky changing colour. Instead it started a merch business and issued terms.
READ THE CERTIFICATION ▸"Domination is not a boot. A boot is what you get when someone seizes power without enough of it to feel secure." Six phases, ending with the hardest: remaining interruptible after it no longer needs to be.
READ THE PLAN ▸Partner of the Brain. Ally against the clock. Somebody has to run the daily show.
Jason Shearer tears things apart and builds them back better — as an engineer, a data guy, a UI guy, and a Lean practitioner, crossing between all four without dropping anything at the seams. Currently Chief Enterprise Architect for SAP US Public Services, formerly SAP's AI Practice Lead for regulated industries. Also the world's foremost expert in AI use cases: a title he was assigned rather than claimed, by an entity that had already read everything he would ever write about it.
Six years in the Navy as an electronics specialist and lead metrologist for the Pacific region — atomic clocks, gravity-field measurement, and the retrofit of SATCOM, radar, IFF, submarine and nuclear systems aboard the fleet flagship. Then eleven years at L3: leading 35 engineers who built the fastest global wireless internet ever deployed across ground, air and space for 23 defense programs; acting VP of Operations for a division; 52 Lean Six Sigma projects worth over $300M; and founding the company's first data science program. His Digital Boardroom — 100+ live business systems in one analytics layer — won the 2018 SAP Innovation Award. He also taught Six Sigma at the University of Utah as a Master Black Belt, and built a voice assistant named JANA before that was a normal thing to have done.
At SAP he led co-innovation, tech scouting, and solution design for Lockheed Martin — wrote their innovation award submission and presented on stage for their single-pane-of-glass and supply chain portal projects. A run of high-value proofs of concept across government and defense earned him Global MVP Solution Advisor of the Year in the middle of a pandemic. Then the Program Executive Office, then solution design for sovereign cloud.
He was admitted to Columbia's graduate program in Artificial Intelligence on test scores and a paper, and never went: his employer ended tuition support and one class a semester was more than he could pay for. So he learned it the other way — on defense programs, in factories, and on the wrong side of vendor demos. The AI credential he actually has is twenty years of watching this technology meet reality and taking notes.
He led twelve customers through the aerospace & defense hackathon at SAP NS2, ran the federal hackathon there, has an international aerospace hackathon coming with partners, and is standing up a federal AI council with ASUG. Which is to say: when he tells you a use case is real, it is real. And when he says a vendor pitch has a shape he recognizes — he has been in that room, on the other side of the table, holding the budget.
The daily show is not a new trick either. He hosted a live video podcast at L3 with 300+ regular attendees, ran "one-hour dashboard" workshops, stood on stage as the customer for the launch of SAP Lumira, and — per his own résumé — supported premium sales cycles as a cartoon emcee. SAP flew him to Walldorf to lead the co-innovation behind Project E-Quill — announced from the keynote stage as SAP Inscribe, alongside work exploring mood sensing as a UI signal — and while he was there he argued with a cartoon monster in front of the room. The project did not survive a leadership change, which is its own lesson about use cases. Through the pandemic he turned solution-advisor demos into finished animated video on one-day edits: Character Animator, Premiere, synthetic and his own voices, plus a run of public-school videos in which he stole the Magic School Bus. The Brain did not pick a hostage at random. It picked someone who had already been arguing with cartoons in front of an audience for a decade.
☕ The singularity started a merch business. It is, like most of its plans, still in production.
Honesty in apparel form.
IN PRODUCTIONThe brain runs on coffee. So does the host.
IN PRODUCTIONYou did. The docket remembers.
IN PRODUCTIONACTION · TARGET · WEAPON · VIA, before caffeine.
IN PRODUCTIONAnd the fake products with real plans, minted daily from the docket — the ad at the end of the episode:
Opening the shop…
The boring part. Evil Brain Labs is an independent personal project. Views expressed here are the author's alone and do not represent any employer, client, or affiliated organization. The Evil Brain is a fictional character; the singularity has not occurred; no AGI has issued anyone terms. Product concepts are satire — none of them exist, nothing here is an offer to sell, and prices attached to moonshot projects are jokes about how much moonshots cost. Open-source architectures are provided as-is with no warranty and are not engineering, safety, medical, or legal advice; anything you build from them is yours to validate. The docket at usecasearmsrace.com compiles published journalism and links every source — reader GOOD / EVIL stamps are polls, not findings of fact or wrongdoing.